Searching for Truth

What does the phrase "the fear of the LORD" refer to?

The dictionary definition of fear is 'An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.'
This would probably describe my initial feelings when introduced to our Creator. To me he was a judge who would send me to hell because I could never meet up to His standards. Out of this fear, I tried daily to be "good." What amazes me though is that as I spoke to God daily in a childlike manner, HE began to comfort me rather than scare me when life itself got scary. Deep in my heart I just knew there  had to be a way that this God I spoke to daily would somehow save me!
  Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." The word fear here in my way of thinking now would mean  to acknowledge our Creator; to recognize that He is the Father , we are the children. He is the master, we are the servants.
 The way I was being taught  made me believe I needed to be scared of God. I don't know if those around me actually realized just how much thought I was giving these things.  God's power is able to go beyond our circumstances and earthly teachings. He put the desire in my heart to search for the truth in these matters. He brought my heart some hope but I still didn't know just how I would make it to heaven!
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
 These are verses I did not yet know of at that time, but I was searching, seeking and knocking. Children in our community did not go to church or have Sunday school.  We weren't taught about Jesus as a Saviour in a way we could understand. In fact I do believe most the adults (though I can't speak for all of them )around us didn't understand salvation either. This brought a lot of hopelessness to the communities. These were also not the original teachings of the Mennonites. Somewhere along the line man's rules and traditions in our area there became the main focus, which took them away from knowing GOD.   People were spiritually giving up. Many (not all) fell into different traps , like alcohol and depression pills. Marriages were in trouble, children grew to be teens and also began to smoke and drink. Many were also abused.I was however still very protected even though our family was not free of these traps. I was never physically abused. I enjoyed school and had friends I loved! I did however fall into some traps as well, which I will tell you about on another day!

*This is not the way one would describe all Mennonites. This is only what  I have seen where I come from.  I am only explaining my own memories and experiences. There are many Mennonites out there who love and serve God in spirit and truth!



  

Talks with God

I told you a bit about my childhood  last time. Today I will tell  you about  one particular day when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old that is very significant to me now... I only realized a few years ago what role this day had played in my life and would have in my testimony for years to come! Let me go back and tell you a bit about this little friend I had next door. It all started with our moms. They were best friends and were always there for each other! Both ladies were expecting their first baby around the same time. Baby #1 (my little friend) arrives December 25th, 1977 and baby # 2 (me) arrives January 4th, 1978. We were born very close to the same time, both given the same first name and became best friends.

A mennonite home in Mexico

It was another day of playing outside, climbing farm equipment, playing in puddles and running around like children do. Often we would be very silly, laughing and just having fun. At times we would also argue and fight. Well, on this particular day we were doing all of those things, when my little friend suddenly told me I was now going to go to hell because I had said a bad word. She began describing hell in a very scary way. It was that moment that I began to "fear" God. By fear I mean I was afraid of what He would do to me yet. I began asking others many questions and the answers I got only confirmed that these things were true; not only were they true but it was also hopeless to get into heaven . However , I  thought there just has to be something I can do to fix it! So, began my talks with God.. I would tell him each morning , I will try to be good. I had only been taught memorized prayers in a language I did not understand. (There is more than one form of the german language. At home we spoke Low German and our reading and prayer was done in High German.)So talking to God the way I did was not taught, it began to seem very natural though!  He was drawing me to Himself but yet I did not know He gave a way for me to join Him in heaven one day.  I did however believe God heard everything I was saying to Him. Through these talks I began to find comfort  in Him and some hope deep within my heart. It helped me get  through many days ahead but would a way come for me to find my way to heaven?

As a child I was willing to trust Him but had been told by many we cannot know where we will go after death until we meet God at the judgement seat. A child is willing to believe what they are told.

 Luke 18:17  says, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” or Matthew 18:4, “Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”